Why Your Top Real Estate Agents Are Secretly Struggling (And How to Help Them Thrive)

The hidden performance barriers that even your best agents won't tell you about

Your top producers look successful from the outside. They're hitting their numbers, closing deals, and bringing in revenue. But behind the scenes, many of them are struggling with challenges they'll never admit to you.

As a team leader or broker owner, you might think your high performers have it all figured out. After all, they're the ones other agents look up to, the ones you rely on to carry the team, the ones who seem to have mastered the business.

But here's what most leaders don't realize: Success in real estate often comes at a hidden cost, and your top agents are paying it every day.

The pressure to maintain their status, the fear of losing momentum, the constant stress of staying ahead—these invisible burdens are quietly undermining even your most successful agents. And if you don't address them, you'll eventually lose your best people to burnout, regardless of how much money they're making.

The Success Trap: Why Top Performers Struggle in Silence

The Pressure to Stay Perfect

When you're known as a top producer, there's enormous pressure to maintain that image. Your top agents feel like they can't show weakness, ask for help, or admit when they're struggling. They believe (often correctly) that everyone is watching them, expecting them to have all the answers.

This creates a dangerous isolation where your best agents are dealing with stress, uncertainty, and challenges completely alone.

The Income Roller Coaster

Even top producers experience income fluctuations that create anxiety. A slow month can trigger panic about losing their status. A big commission check can create pressure to maintain that level indefinitely. The feast-or-famine nature of real estate affects everyone, but top producers feel it more acutely because they have further to fall.

The Comparison Game

Your top agents are constantly comparing themselves to other high performers in your market. They see someone else's success on social media and immediately question their own methods. They worry they're not working hard enough, smart enough, or fast enough to stay competitive.

The Impostor Syndrome

Many successful agents secretly feel like frauds who are just one deal away from being exposed. They attribute their success to luck rather than skill, which creates constant anxiety about when their "luck" will run out.

The Relationship Strain

Success often comes at the cost of personal relationships. Your top agents may be struggling with family stress, health issues, or social isolation because they've sacrificed everything for their business.

The Warning Signs Your Top Agents Are Struggling

Most high performers won't directly tell you they're having problems. Instead, you need to watch for subtle indicators:

Performance Inconsistency

- Great months followed by unexpectedly slow periods

- Difficulty maintaining momentum after big wins

- Procrastination on activities they used to excel at

Behavioral Changes

- Increased irritability or mood swings

- Withdrawal from team activities or social interactions

- Perfectionism that slows down their productivity

Physical and Emotional Symptoms

- Complaints about sleep problems or fatigue

- Increased sick days or health issues

- Comments about feeling overwhelmed or stressed

Professional Concerns

- Talking about "taking a break" or "slowing down"

- Expressing doubts about their methods or abilities

- Asking more questions about other career options

Relationship Issues

- Mentions of family stress or relationship problems

- Working longer hours but with diminishing returns

- Isolation from colleagues and friends

The Real Cost of Ignoring These Issues

When you don't address the hidden struggles of your top performers, several things happen that directly impact your business:

Burnout and Departure

Your top agents eventually hit a wall and either leave real estate entirely or join a competitor that they believe will better support their well-being.

Performance Decline

Chronic stress and anxiety eventually catch up, leading to decreased productivity, poor decision-making, and lost opportunities.

Team Culture Impact

When your top performers are struggling, it affects the entire team's morale and confidence. Other agents begin to question whether success is sustainable.

Client Relationship Damage

Stressed agents provide worse client experiences, leading to fewer referrals and damaged reputation in the market.

Recruitment Challenges

Word spreads in the real estate community about teams where even successful agents are unhappy, making it harder to attract quality talent.

The Five Pillars of Supporting High-Performing Agents

Based on working with hundreds of real estate teams, here are the essential elements of creating an environment where your top agents can thrive sustainably:

Pillar 1: Create Psychological Safety

The Challenge: Top performers often feel they can't show vulnerability or ask for help without damaging their reputation.

The Solution: Establish an environment where success and struggle can coexist, where asking for support is seen as strength, not weakness.

Practical Implementation:

- Regular Check-ins - Schedule monthly one-on-one meetings focused on wellbeing, not just performance

- Normalize Struggles - Share your own challenges and how you've overcome them

- Confidential Support - Ensure agents know they can discuss problems without judgment or consequences

- Celebrate Growth - Acknowledge when agents work through difficulties, not just when they hit numbers

Pillar 2: Teach Stress Resilience

The Challenge: Real estate is inherently stressful, but most agents never learn healthy ways to manage that stress.

The Solution: Provide practical tools for building what our agents call "internal ballast"—the ability to stay grounded even when everything feels chaotic.

Practical Implementation:

- Using Your Breath - Simple practices agents can use between appointments or during stressful calls

- Perspective Training - Tools for reframing setbacks and maintaining long-term vision

- Recovery Practices - Methods for releasing stress and recharging energy

- Being More Present - Techniques for staying focused and calm during high-pressure situations

Pillar 3: Optimize Performance Sustainably

The Challenge: Many top producers achieve success through unsustainable methods that eventually lead to burnout.

The Solution: Help agents work smarter, not just harder, by optimizing their energy and focus.

Practical Implementation:

- Energy Management - Teaching agents to work with their natural rhythms rather than against them

- Priority Systems - Tools for focusing on high-impact activities and eliminating energy drains

- Boundary Setting - Helping agents establish healthy limits with clients and work hours

- Recovery Planning - Building rest and renewal into their business model

Pillar 4: Address the Whole Person

The Challenge: Most real estate training focuses solely on business skills, while overlooking the personal factors that impact performance.

The Solution: Recognize that your agents' personal well-being has a direct impact on their professional success.

Practical Implementation:

- Work-Life Integration - Helping agents create sustainable balance between business and personal life

- Health Support - Encouraging and supporting physical and mental health practices

- Relationship Guidance - Providing resources for maintaining healthy relationships despite business demands

- Personal Development - Supporting growth in areas beyond real estate skills

Pillar 5: Build a Supportive Community

The Challenge: Real estate can be isolating, especially for top performers who feel pressure to always have the answers.

The Solution: Create a genuine community where agents support one another's success and well-being.

Practical Implementation:

- Peer Support Groups - Regular meetings where agents can share challenges and solutions

- Mentorship Programs - Pairing experienced agents with newer ones for mutual benefit

- Team Building - Activities that build genuine relationships, not just professional connections

- Shared Learning - Creating opportunities for agents to learn from each other's experiences

Common Challenges and Solutions

"My Top Agents Will Think This Is Unnecessary"

Reality Check: Your top agents are already struggling—they're just not telling you. They'll be relieved to have support, not resistant to it.

Solution: Start with individual conversations to understand their specific challenges. When they see you care about their wellbeing, not just their production, they'll be more open to support.

"We Don't Have Time for All This Touchy-Feely Stuff"

Reality Check: You're already spending time dealing with the consequences of stressed agents—turnover, performance issues, client problems. Prevention is more efficient than crisis management.

Solution: Start small with simple practices that take minutes, not hours. Focus on the business benefits: better performance, higher retention, improved client satisfaction.

"How Do I Measure the ROI of Wellbeing Support?"

Reality Check: The metrics are clear and measurable: agent retention, performance consistency, client satisfaction, team culture, and your own stress levels.

Solution: Track these metrics before and after implementing support systems. The improvements will be obvious and significant.

"What If Other Agents Get Jealous of the Attention Top Performers Receive?"

Reality Check: Supporting your top performers benefits everyone. When they're thriving, they lift the entire team. Plus, these support systems should eventually be available to all agents.

Solution: Be transparent about your approach and gradually extend support to all team members. Position it as an investment in everyone's success.

The Competitive Advantage of Supporting Your Top Talent

In a market where most brokers focus only on production numbers, supporting the whole person becomes a massive competitive advantage.

Teams that prioritize agent wellbeing alongside performance have:

- Higher retention rates (reducing recruitment and training costs)

- More consistent performance (less volatility in team production)

- Better client experiences (happier agents provide better service)

- Stronger team culture (attracting higher-quality agents)

- Sustainable growth (avoiding the boom-bust cycle of burnout and replacement)

Most importantly, you'll build a team where success doesn't come at the cost of wellbeing—where agents can thrive professionally while maintaining their health, relationships, and happiness.

Your Top Performers Are Counting on You

Here's the truth: Your top agents are struggling, whether they tell you or not. The question is whether you'll address it proactively or wait until they burn out and leave.

The agents who look most successful on the outside often need the most support on the inside. They're carrying the weight of expectations, pressure, and responsibility that would crush most people. They're doing it because they're committed to their own success and the success of your team.

But they can't do it alone forever.

As their leader, you have the opportunity—and the responsibility—to create an environment where success is sustainable, where high performance doesn't require sacrificing everything else, where your best people can thrive for years instead of burning out in months.

The Bottom Line

Your top real estate agents are your most valuable assets. They drive your revenue, attract other quality agents, and represent your brand in the market.

But they're also human beings with real struggles, fears, and needs that go far beyond commission checks.

When you support the whole person—not just the producer—you don't just improve their wellbeing. You enhance their performance, longevity, and loyalty to your team.

The question isn't whether your top agents are struggling. The question is: What are you going to do about it?

The teams that figure this out will dominate their markets. The teams that don't will continue to lose their best people to burnout, regardless of how much money they're making.

Which team will yours be?

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*Aaron Hendon is a certified mindfulness instructor, international speaker, and managing broker with over 30 years of experience in real estate leadership. His practical support programs have helped team leaders across the country create environments where top performers thrive sustainably while achieving even better results. To learn more about supporting your high-performing agents, schedule a consultation call or explore his team development programs.

Ready to support your top performers? Download the free white paper, How to Live a Grateful Life in a Fckd Up Industry and discover what your best agents really need to thrive long-term.